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And now for something worth posting.
With the exception of two people, if you're reading this, then chances are you have no idea what the inside of my house looks like, and if you do, you haven't been here recently. I don't like people stopping by because I'm horribly embarrassed by what you might find here; I'm embarrassed by my family. It's not the usual embarrassment from my parents with the kooky things they might do, or something. It's my brother.
It's unfortunate that he and his instability are the reasons I don't like having visitors. He's most of the reason I hide in my bedroom. Today it just got out of hand, in very stark contrast to his behavior yesterday. I don't understand it, and I'm not just embarrassed by it, but, more importantly, also too scared to risk letting my friends possibly be subjected to it (especially not first-time visitors. Aside of Erica, I haven't had anyone new here in YEARS). He's shown that he doesn't care who he lashes out to; he's proven that repeatedly.
Tonight, I felt great sorrow for someone I've seen often, but who I don't know. I felt disappointed, sad, confused, and angry. I wasn't scared, though. Maybe I was, but the other emotions overpowered it into near-nothingness. I haven't the foggiest. Either way, I don't like the atmosphere here.
Please forgive me for rescinding my invitation for crash space during NYAF. And Erica, I think it would be best if we had practice at your place on Thursday. :/
Edit: Y SO SRS?
It's unfortunate that he and his instability are the reasons I don't like having visitors. He's most of the reason I hide in my bedroom. Today it just got out of hand, in very stark contrast to his behavior yesterday. I don't understand it, and I'm not just embarrassed by it, but, more importantly, also too scared to risk letting my friends possibly be subjected to it (especially not first-time visitors. Aside of Erica, I haven't had anyone new here in YEARS). He's shown that he doesn't care who he lashes out to; he's proven that repeatedly.
Tonight, I felt great sorrow for someone I've seen often, but who I don't know. I felt disappointed, sad, confused, and angry. I wasn't scared, though. Maybe I was, but the other emotions overpowered it into near-nothingness. I haven't the foggiest. Either way, I don't like the atmosphere here.
Please forgive me for rescinding my invitation for crash space during NYAF. And Erica, I think it would be best if we had practice at your place on Thursday. :/
Edit: Y SO SRS?