Really quick.

Hey, um, is there anyone who can't make it to NYAF but wants to go? I might be able to help with respect to reg and lodging. Let me know ASAP, okay? ^_^

Snap, crackle, pop.

Went my brain before it started to leak from my ears this afternoon.

I've been at this job a week and I've already lost it. I BROKE. I've stayed past my scheduled time every day but one. I can't do anything I want to on my own, and the things I thought I could do, I wind up not being able to do because I don't know enough. This shit isn't worth eight dollars, but I'm stuck.

So very stuck.

I was supposed to go out with Seto (and a bunch of other people) for his birthday tonight, but I'm so tired -- physically, mentally, even emotionally now -- that I want to do nothing more than sleep for the next five years.

Desiree asked me what I majored in in school. "Sleep," I said, very seriously, without looking at her. Later in the conversation I mentioned how I wanted "to get out of here. I don't wanna be here." She said I'd stay. "You're right. I will. I'm complacent." "What?" "I've got no ambition. I'm pathetic." "...Are you crying again?" "Yes."

I'm so LAME, you guys. SO LAME. And there's nothing I can do. I'm STUCK. I feel like I'm about to lose myself again, and I really don't want to. I don't want to scare anyone, I don't want to scare myself. I'm scared of doing that again. At the same time, if it happens, I probably deserve it for whatever reason.

Help me. Please, help me.