2008-07-31

venusplz: (Default)
2008-07-31 03:06 am
Entry tags:

Weird dreams

I forgot to mention yesterday morning that I had a couple of odd dreams.

One was that I was involved in the French Revolution or something? And then I was being led to a guillotine. O_O I was telling myself to remain calm, that it wasn't going to hurt, and that it would be over soon. I remember being led to the guillotine, watching the blade rise, and lying down. I had my eyes open as I waited for the blade to drop. It never did, or, at least, I woke up before it could happen.

The second one was much nicer: all of ichiP! was at AnimeNEXT. :D

Then I had a depressing thought, or, rather, an old one came back to me. Phill and I went to get ice cream, and we ran into a young lady who was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She was obviously one of the St. John's students who were stuck on campus over the summer. Because Phill HAD to tell her something, he rationalized it by explaining to me that it would help her when she became a doctor or something one day.

If a girl that dumb can be a doctor, anyone can be anything. She won't be the only one to graduate in her class. How many other doctors will be alongside her? How many other schools will also have doctors? How many years will these schools continue to spit out doctors? And not just doctors, but everything else under the sun. So many students graduate from so many colleges every year. Who am I to think I would ever stand out from the crowd, even if I WERE to finish?

I AM NOT SPECIAL, and I never will be. More than likely, I never was. I'm a nothing and a nobody, especially since I can't even contend with others, nor do I care to. I'm useless. I'm a waste. I. Suck.

>.>; So, um, I'm leaving for CTCon tomorrow... today. See you bitches there.