FFFFFFFFF

I should be dead asleep, especially since I was looking VERY MUCH FORWARD to the extra two and a half hours I'm meant to get tonight, on account of not having writing today (it's so late, I've acknowledged that shit happens today, not tomorrow).

But noooooo.

I've been staring at this assignment for philosophy for a week. A fucking WEEK. I've read the material about five times through and I'm supposed to summarize it.

Nothing comes to mind.

I have no idea what I've read. This book has seemed so winding and airy the entire time, and I wonder if there's a point to the chapters at all. I've gotten way more out of class discussions than I have the book.

And here it is, four o'clock in the morning, and I'm this close to tears of frustration because I'm FUCKING TRYING and I still can't do it! I'm up at FOUR IN THE MORNING. I AM TRYING, goddammit! Most recently, I've been up for damn near an hour -- had to take a break and SLEEP -- trying to figure out what this one sentence means, trying to figure out how being broad and general is the opposite of being modest and unassuming, trying to figure out why the FUCK you would ever want to disprove something you're trying to prove, because that's what it seems I'm being told.

Can people please stop forcing me to be a student now?! Haven't I proven I'm not cut out for this when I can't write a fucking two-page summary?

Break, please. I'd like to catch one.

Edit, 4:25 - YEAH FUCK THIS SHIT. Homework is worth only 10% of my grade; missing one assignment will be a maximum of five measly points I'm not gonna earn anyway; it's not like I've got an A average. I'm getting some fucking sleep. ... After a bite because I've stayed up so long now I'M FUCKING HUNGRY. GUH.

Edit, 9:30 - Good decision, Venus. Sleep is wonderful, but I'm sorry you didn't get enough. That's what the train is for, I suppose.