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I have a very severe fear of dentists.
Aug. 6th, 2012 07:40 pmI'm not happy about it. Despite that fear of dentistry is very common, I hate all the fears that I have because I imagine them to be pretty wussy, even (especially?) when it's something that deals with my physical health. "Hello, I'm scared of being healthy." See how dumb that is?
A post came up on my newsfeed just now about "scary-sounding dental procedures" and what they really are all about. I started reading (because I hate this fear and I know I need to get the fuck over it), and before long, I was sobbing, and had to stop going through the article. See, I'm not afraid of needles or drills or anything (well, maybe the drills if I weren't properly numbed, but I've had a couple of fillings done -- with needles! -- and I never felt anything more than the vibrations from the drill, which kinda tickled!), I'm legit afraid of the dentist. I'm afraid of the doctor. I'm afraid that I'm going to be ridiculed and shamed and mocked and embarrassed and unable to defend myself while the dentist tsks and sighs and stabs me with a pointy metal stick in the gums and lips and tongue and scolds "YOU NEED TO BRUSH MORE" when I start bleeding.
Sorry about that, I'll just turn off my capillaries for a few minutes.
also gagging and dry mouth are shitty feelings. funny how when my mouth is dry, not only can it not open any fucking more, but my lips crack and bleed. don't you fucking dare try to tell me my lips are bleeding because i wasn't brushing my teeth, don't you dare!
Like, I seriously do not want to hear you talk or hum or make any sort of noise throughout the entire procedure. I don't even want you to talk to me after. I don't want to know what I'm doing right, I don't want to know what I'm doing wrong, I just want to not be in that chair or office. I don't want the receptionist talking to me, I don't want the hygienist talking to me, I don't want there to be anyone else in the waiting room when I complete my Walk of Shame. You clean me up without a word, I pay you money without a word. Why is that not an established arrangement?
Yes, I know why I'm so afraid. No, I don't see it changing ever.
A post came up on my newsfeed just now about "scary-sounding dental procedures" and what they really are all about. I started reading (because I hate this fear and I know I need to get the fuck over it), and before long, I was sobbing, and had to stop going through the article. See, I'm not afraid of needles or drills or anything (well, maybe the drills if I weren't properly numbed, but I've had a couple of fillings done -- with needles! -- and I never felt anything more than the vibrations from the drill, which kinda tickled!), I'm legit afraid of the dentist. I'm afraid of the doctor. I'm afraid that I'm going to be ridiculed and shamed and mocked and embarrassed and unable to defend myself while the dentist tsks and sighs and stabs me with a pointy metal stick in the gums and lips and tongue and scolds "YOU NEED TO BRUSH MORE" when I start bleeding.
Sorry about that, I'll just turn off my capillaries for a few minutes.
Like, I seriously do not want to hear you talk or hum or make any sort of noise throughout the entire procedure. I don't even want you to talk to me after. I don't want to know what I'm doing right, I don't want to know what I'm doing wrong, I just want to not be in that chair or office. I don't want the receptionist talking to me, I don't want the hygienist talking to me, I don't want there to be anyone else in the waiting room when I complete my Walk of Shame. You clean me up without a word, I pay you money without a word. Why is that not an established arrangement?
Yes, I know why I'm so afraid. No, I don't see it changing ever.
