MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE A KID TOO :V

[venusplz]

BECAUSE THEN I MIGHT GET TO LEAVE EARLY FROM WORK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE :VVVVV

I'm not bitter, no. I am, sincerely, very happy that I got to leave work at my scheduled time today. It was not a good day. And I need to learn how to say the three magic words: "not my problem." Apparently, three years of retail has drilled it in my head that I should never refuse a request no matter how asinine or how much it might inconvenience me. :/

I opened, and was set to go until five. Mike was on the schedule, but apparently, he wasn't working? So I was by myself and I didn't realize it. And there were a few carts FULL of junk that needed to go back on the shelves. Some of the junk I recognized from Thursday, so, what? Did people not put anything away last night?

I did it. I started running back and forth carts and carts of nonsense. Every time I was done with one, two more would pop up in its place (or one would just have more shit dumped on top of it). Four hours, I did this.

Around one-thirty, I was called back to my counter for the umpteenth time, undoubtedly to answer someone's dumbass question that had NOTHING TO DO WITH FRAMING. No, I was pleasantly mistaken, but only for a moment. I spent the next TWO HOURS with the customer ("two hours" is the obscenely short version of the story. I don't even know how that happened). And I'm really glad that she decided to run out to the ATM to get money to pay for her crap because two more seconds and I wouldn't have had a job anymore. I would have either punched her in the face or cursed her out.

After the entire order went through -- after the two hours of measuring and color-matching and picking out shit -- she decided she wanted to CHANGE part of it. It's a good thing it turned out to be more expensive, or she would have made me do it, too.

AND THIS WAS AFTER I WAS ASKED TO CLOSE. For some reason, half the scheduled people called out -- and one said she couldn't stay because her mother wanted her home to watch her own kid (I actually yelled at her for that) -- and Sandy's kids were left home by themselves. Rosie was trying to make Sandy go home, and asked me if I could stay. I would get to have Monday off completely instead, but.... I don't know why I agreed. Maybe it was to have the two consecutive days off.

Hey, read this if you don't want to be my friend anymore! Children annoy me. They're as loud and obnoxious and ignorant as adults, but the kicker is that people make excuses for them because THEY DON'T KNOW BETTER. Not true? How many times have you heard, "Aw, he/she's just a kid!" Parents make me uneasy because they're associated WITH children; I can't talk to them because there's never a conversation where THEIR LITTLE ANGELS aren't mentioned. People who like children but don't have any don't even fucking deserve my attention. I have better things to bullshit about than DEMONSPAWN BRATS. And you know what else, everyone? SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOUR KID IS NOT CUTE AND YOUR KID IS NOT SMART, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S YOURS. FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.

So now you're probably angry at me -- or at least mildly irked -- for my cruelty, but you know what? It's true. I hate kids. I'd hate them more than cats, but I'm allergic to cats (or rather, there's no test to prove that I'm not allergic to children). Also, you can't blame me, since I blanked this shit out, and put a warning! You just don't want to be my friend anymore, I see how it is. T^T

*ahem* Chances are I wouldn't see Phill anyway, so I don't know who I was trying to kid.

It's a good thing I remembered that I have to open tomorrow. A double and an open, LOL. No. So I agreed to stay until seven. Around a quarter to five, Sandy told me she'd found a sitter (when?) and that I could leave when I was supposed to. Score.

YET I WAS STILL CONCERNED ABOUT WHY I COULD LEAVE WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME.

On top of that, the less-than-wonderful side of my family is visiting -- no one told me this was going to happen! -- and it doesn't look like it'll be a short visit, either.

I'm FUCKING STARVING (this is gross, don't read it: my mom's not the greatest cook in the world -- which is half the reason I don't know how to cook -- but apparently, my sister is worse. My mom's spaghetti is edible, if overcooked, but my sister's! I just looked in the pot of noodles and there is a WHITE GEL sitting on top of it! When I asked her what had CONGEALED upon the noodles, she casually answered, "Oh, that's just the water." WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE DRAIN IT. AND WHY DID IT CONGEAL?!?! I wanna fucking throw UP. Ungross: my soda needs more Irish/Puerto Rican in it). The internet was out when I came home. My party is level 67 and they still can't kill shit!

Batting a fucking thousand, seriously.

Comments

[jyoki.livejournal.com]

i agree about the kids thing. CAN'T. STAND. THEM.

TWO hours. what the shit

[tru-chan-speaks.livejournal.com]

LOL "demonspawn"

[tru-chan-speaks.livejournal.com]

for the record, I'll still love you even if you DO hate my (inevitably many) children by default. Though I will try to make them super cool children so that you might hate them less. :D

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

Of course I'll hate my friends' kids less. I might even -- gasp! -- like them. ... Until they spit up on me. XD

[tru-chan-speaks.livejournal.com]

I'll just have to keep them in a box when you're over until they're old enough to not spit anymore!

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

That... that is child abuse. ;-;

[tru-chan-speaks.livejournal.com]

>_>

*was not serious, and knows you already know she was not serious, but wants to cover her bases*

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

Consider your bases covered.

[paulnolan.livejournal.com]

I agree so hard... if there's one thing I'm truly thankful for that being queer has given me, it's that I'll never be expected to breed. :]

Eww @ noodle starch - how did she even manage that? DX

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

Apparently, not draining pasta and letting it sit in the pot is how you do it. My problem is that she was so casual about it. "Oh, that's just the water." Like "oh, bananas turn brown if you leave them out too long." Gross!

[jyoki.livejournal.com]

"oh, bananas turn brown if you leave them out too long."

XDDDDDD

[raspberrysorbet.livejournal.com]

I just got back from babysitting for 6 hrs and I immediately sent this email to my bf:

well i had to change a poopy diaper, but at least i made 40 bux

let's never have kids

Oh man, they tired me out and they were only really awake for 3 hours while I was there. At least they were mostly well-behaved, but I dunno how the hell I'd be able to handle an ADD kid, and I could possibly have one of those since my brother has it, along with some of my other relatives.

Anyway, now I wanna cook for you. I make delicious spaghetti and I always serve it with garlic bread. :B

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

Six hours and forty dollars? That's less than minimum wage. :/ (I mean, you get to keep all forty, so not really? But still.) Kids ARE tiring. I sat for my best friend's brothers once, and I love them like they were my own brothers -- we can talk and play games and watch TV and such -- but they were just SO MUCH that I'd never been HAPPY to leave the house before. :/

Garlic bread~ *_* I haven't had garlic bread in so long! Or meatballs! Because my mom always makes meat sauce which is a lame cop-out.

[raspberrysorbet.livejournal.com]

Well they're not rich and I spent 3 of those hours watching TV.

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

I was only joking. ;-;

[raspberrysorbet.livejournal.com]

I couldn't tell from the way you wrote it. ;P

[buboniclou.livejournal.com]

I promise when I'm a children's librarian, I'll never make you come visit, unless you want to do a cosplay teach-in :)

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

It's Halloween time, kids! ^0^

I don't think I could deal with the attention spans. ... Or lack thereof.

[eri-desu.livejournal.com]

This post KILLED me with lolness. XD

I am DYING to hear more about this "two hour" person..cause really, what the hell could they NEED TO TALK ABOUT for that long!? And OMG I hated restocking when I "worked" at Western Beef. Dumbass people who decide to leave almost an ENTIRE cart of junk cause they changed their minds...go to hell!! And take your damn groceries with you!!

Children: hate/love relationship for me...more hate than love though. I'd rather have them when they're at the age when they no longer cry and can wipe their own asses and know enough to not spew embarrassing junk about me in public because they have some sort of sentient concept of shame and decency...I think I might need a 10-12 y/o...my kids are gonna be effin' insane though...in a creepy "i don't speak but I'm staring at you and thinking things" kinda way...Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't hate my idiotic-future-children TOO much XDD.

Also, I learned to cook full hispanic meals at 12 years old...but hated doing it cause I was FORCED to, which is why I don't do it now..mehehehe laziness.. OMG I can't eat unpretty food. I'd be like, betch...do YOU want to eat that!? Google a 'how-to' cause cat's wouldn't even eat that. Trust me I've had this same cooking experience with MY sis...all they need is a smack in the head and to never be let near a stove ever again. XD

"Batting a fucking thousand, seriously." -Great ending to a hilarious post. I LOVE YOU VENUSAUR!

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

I'M GLAD MY MISERY BRINGS YOU JOY. BITCH.

Okay, here's the story, and I'm gonna try to keep it as short as possible (because I have to go to work soon). She had these two prints that she wanted re-framed because the formica on her old frames was chipping. No problem, we can pick out frames, and she can get them to fit her old matting and glass, etc. Oh, but it was too expensive. Okay, well, she could get a frame off the floor, and then we could fit the matting to that one. How big would the frame be? I don't know, because I don't know how big the print is (it's still in the frame). Can't I open it? Well, of course, but if she decided to buy nothing, it would have been more cumbersome to carry all those pieces home, especially the glass, which I didn't know was plexi.

BUT I WOUND UP TAKING IT APART ANYWAY and the staples in the frame were being annoying and they didn't want to come out and I spent a good five minutes just coaxing them. So the print was about 18x24, which is a common size, so I suggested the 18x24 frame, and she picked TWO out. Of course, they were on the highest shelf, and *I* had to get them, which meant I had to first look for a ladder to get them. And then when I brought them over she was like "No, not these."

She was wrong; it was those. By then, I was convinced that she was just one of those disagreeable people, and that it was going to be a very LONG day.

So it looked like it fit in the frame, and she was happy. Next was the matter of picking out matting, and this is where I'm very appreciative of your and the rest of the Pratt kiddies' frienship! Her original matting was a patterned gray, and the print was of three black women in... uh... various shades of black. XD Like you, me, and someone who blends into the night. XD So I decided to go with a grayish sort of orange (trust, it worked), but there were a few options I gave because nothing I found immediately worked *exactly* right. And then she sat there picking and choosing.

OH I should probably mention she had two friends with her. They undoubtedly extended this little hen party very much past its expected life span. So they were all excited over the stupid mats.

Eventually, I found the right one, and we decided to go with it. And that was just ONE PRINT. One print that she just needed matting for. She needed a frame for the second, but the price became a big deal because the frame was expensive and glass is ALWAYS expensive and the print was bigger than the other but not a common size and BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. In the end, she wound up buying the frame but KEEPING HER OLD JUNKY PLEXIGLASS.

And when all this shit comes in, we have to put it together for her. :/ I know there are good people from the area, but let me summarize thusly: I wasn't at all surprised when she gave me her address and told me she was from the Bronx. :////

Meanwhile, about five other customers stopped by to pick up their artwork, and since I was the only one in the frame shop, I had to interrupt and help them (not that it took very long). And then other people came over asking me other ridiculous questions -- some that had to do with framing, some that didn't (which always pisses me the fuck off), and some not in English -- just eating up more time. Three o'clock came and went and my relief was supposed to show up -- I was doubly cranky because I hadn't eaten! -- but when she did, I stopped what I was doing and gave her a hug. Four different people started attacking me with questions all at once, while I'm TRYING to understand what this stupid woman wants done with her ugly prints. So I was like "Help him. Help him. Help her." to poor Sandy every time she finished with someone. IT WAS AWFUL.

AND THEN I WAS ASKED TO STAY UNTIL CLOSING BY MYSELF AND THEN I WENT IN THE BACK ROOM AND CRIED BECAUSE I CAN'T MULTITASK AND I WISH SOMEONE WOULD FIGURE THAT OUT ALREADY. :D

...This comment is probably way too long.

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

OH SHIT NO TEXT LIMIT.

Anyway, so, yeah. I was less than enthused.

Children. Let's put it this way: I'd rather rant about the dumbass customer who I wanted to throttle than those under the age of... me. VOLUMES, it speaks.

I don't want my mom to teach me hispanic food, either, because I don't like how her rice comes out. It's always hard at the bottom of the pot and that is REALLY GROSS, but she likes it! Why don't you just chew on the rice straight out of the bag, Mom? It's not washed, but that's more minerals and shit! :::rolls eyes::: That, and I don't like pernil, chuletas or FRIIIIIIED chicken THAT much to have them every day (rice beans I could probably do, lol). (And then if I did, Michele couldn't eat at my future-house! ;-;)

I wanna cook American food. Like, vegetables and stuff. I love asparagus, but I don't know how to make it correctly (my mom, unsurprisingly, overcooks it to the point where it's noodle-limp). She really wonders why I don't know how to cook, though, yet she sees me refuse her food on a more frequent basis... HMMMMM I WONDER

Next time you have a miserable day, I'm going to laugh at you. I LOVE YOU TOO ERICA AND I MISS LAST SUNDAY'S FUNTIEMS!

[eri-desu.livejournal.com]

YOUR MISERY DOESN'T BRING ME JOY, WOMAN! I'd be a horrible human being to laugh at your despair...it's just the way you say and phrase things make any situation sound like a really good/well written, interesting/comical story.

That situation...OMG. Poor thing! I hope you do fun things in your free time that counter the madness that ensues at your place of employment.

"Hen party" XDDD oh noes she has friends! XDDD

The Bronx!! That's Boroughism!! Even though there are reasons for the stereotypes. Not surprised though, XD

HOW COULD YOU BE ASKED TO STAY TIL CLOSING!? Weren't you there ALL DAY!??? You were alone too so it's just that you leave and Sandy take over and close to make it fair. I can't multitask either, it's understandable to be overwhelmed. I can't type and talk to someone at the same time nor can I walk and look at something moving while walking cause I walk towards it instead of forward. Sometimes I feel like you should report your store for the weird disorganized crap that goes on, cause 5 hrs of work = work break for lunch. There should always be more than one worker in the store because at some point it will be one's break and there will be no one to man it.

Hispanic food is my default and I'd rather know some of it for when I have friends who don't know what it tastes like. But OMG AMERICAN FOOD YES PLZ! I want to learn all the food Americans eat..string-beans ftw! XDD Con-con..the hardened rice at the bottom of the pot. I love that stuff, as do almost all DRs and PRs.. cause it's fun to munch. Surprisingly enough..I don;t like spanish food all that much. Certain plates i LOVE. But I too do not enjoy pernil, chuletas, friend chicken and especially not rice and beans, NO BEANS IN MY RICE POR FAVOR >:C ...haha your mom is a such a doll, how cute. X3

Someone making fun of me? That's never a rare moment for Erica, feel free to slaughter my disdain amiga XD. (-_- )'(I should NOT be so okay with that..SIGH)...BTW :(>_<) Your quarters got me to like a half-point in my collection, OMG thank you so much!! =$3.50 (just making a note of it) I wish you lived like a block away :<

Long post is looo.... ...ng!

[omgimsuchadork.livejournal.com]

Fufufu... you think I write well! -^_^- Thank you!

I've been bingeing on Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility lately. Stupid Harvest Moons and their addictiveness! (I hope I don't wear out any buttons on my Wiimote like I did to my GBA AND my DS!)

Look, if I were really Boroughist, I'd wonder why you don't have five kids yet. I mean, you're twenty years old, woman! You're WAY behind schedule! And school?! GIRL WHATCHU THINK YOU IS, SMART? WHY YOU GOTTA ACT SO WHITE FOR lmao

YO YOU FROM JAPAN OR SOME SHIT? ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THIS DOMYOUJI?!

I was asked to stay until closing because Sandy couldn't find a sitter for her kids (she's got three, and they're all under ten), so Rosie, the manager, was going to send her home so the kids wouldn't be by themselves. At the same time, Jenaea, who's got a four-year-old-son, said that her mother wanted her home ASAP to watch the kid, because Jenaea's mother was sick. So she couldn't close. On top of that, about three or four OTHER people who were supposed to close had called out, so they were REALLY understaffed, and on a Saturday night, that REALLY sucks. Did I mention Rosie's about 2/3 of the way through her pregnancy and is getting to the point where she can't do much that includes bending? Like picking up or lifting? Which is most of the work?

It got me pretty upset because that's not really fair; just because someone has kids doesn't mean other people have to dance around for them (which is part of the reason I hate them. Excuses are made for the kids only slightly more often than they're made for the adults!). As Phill would say, "It's not my fault you couldn't figure out how to use a condom." XD As I would add on, "Or a wire hanger." :X And if Rosie would send Sandy home, then there WOULD be no one in the frame shop, and everyone would be highly upset. It bothers me because even though I hate it, it IS my job, and I feel slightly responsible for and protective of it. :::shrug:::

I feel like I should report ALL of my jobs for the near-slavish conditions we're made to suffer. I'm pretty sure this is why there's no UNION for retail workers; -- EVEN THOUGH THERE TOTALLY NEEDS TO BE. I WOULD PAY DUES IN A HEARTBEAT -- there'd be nothing for us to do after twenty minutes, once the union kicked management's ass real hard. :D

STRING BEANS!! I have a recipe for string bean casserole. IT'S SO GOOD. We should try it next time we're, um, together? Also, a cheesy chicken bake. (My mom makes string beans with hamhocks, which is interesting but BORING and ANNOYING after a while because she does it to everything. Cabbage. Tastes like ham. Green beans. Taste like ham. Lima beans. Taste like ham. MILK. TASTES LIKE HAM (not really). I'm pretty sure her reasoning is IF IT WORKS FOR THIS IT MUST WORK FOR EVERYTHING ELSE :V which is just NOT true. XD I'm pretty sure that's my other grandmother's influence -- the one who was born and raised in Good Ole Virginie -- but still.....)

I'm pretty sure the word my mom used for hard rice was different (and that it started with a P, but I'm not sure about that). I just don't get why you would bother COOKING the rice to make it soft if you're just gonna eat the hard stuff anyway. And one time Mom wasn't paying attention and used my SUSHI rice. Much lulz were had on my end (even if she wasted my rice). Not so much on Mom's. But yeah, Spanish food, I love it, especially pernil. I think it's one of my favorite foods!

PASTELES. HOLY SHIT. HOLIDAYS ARE COMING. My brother hates them because he finds the smell repulsive (we usually get them made of green bananas). I LOVE THEM but I wish there was less banana and more filling. ^0^ CHICKPEEEEEEAS.

How do you not like beans in your rice? What's wrong with you? WHY YOU GOTTA ACT SO WHITE FOR XDDDDD

Yeah, I love my mom even if her cooking AND Spanish grammar are sub-par. She started me on cosplaying, so I can't ever NOT love her. ♥

I have a few more quarters for you, but some of them might be duplicates, since I forgot what I gave you and what you already had. I wish I lived a block away, too! It would make everything more AWESOME! And we could do that casserole, like, TOMORROW. XD

LONGER REPLY IS LOOOOOOOOOONGER!

[tru-chan-speaks.livejournal.com]

ichiP! house is inevitable.

[jyoki.livejournal.com]

YO YOU FROM JAPAN OR SOME SHIT? ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THIS DOMYOUJI?!

OH GIRL YOU AIN'T HEARD?

I CAME HERE TO GET DOWN